In a heartfelt statement of thanks towards the
supporters, Leigh Bromby spoke of the full trauma of his injury nightmare in
Cardiff: “I don’t remember much about it… it’s all a blur. I knew straight away
it was something serious” revealed Leigh, before going on to say “I remember
Pughy talking to me…then the next thing I remember is being in the dressing
room with my mum and dad there” – a close encounter with Danny Pugh is
obviously even more disturbing than we thought.
 |
| The spectre of Danny Pugh is just too much... |
It’s going to be a long road to recovery for the
defender, although fortunately, as Bromby stated, “I’m in the most capable
hands possible and I trust them to give me the very best rehab”. It seems that
Bates’ offer to allow Ben Parker to continue using the Thorp Arch facilities will
prove to be an inspired move.
Tuesday 15th May
A very chipper Neil Warnock dismisses the promotion
credentials of the three sides joining the Championship next season, via the
means of the Premier League trap door. Blackburn and Bolton are written off on
the grounds that they’ll most likely lose some of their key players, while Wolves’
chances are questioned on the grounds that they’ve appointed a manager who’s
such an unknown that even his wife requests his ID card before allowing him into
the house.
 |
| Definitely Solbakken, look at his shirt! |
Admittedly, Stale Solbakken may well sound like niche
Scandinavian delicacy, but chances are his squad and financial resources are
something that Warnock can only look upon with covetous eyes. The full extent of
Bates’ tight grip on the ‘war chest’ padlock key does appear to be hitting home
for our manager though, who also expresses a word of caution about the new
powerhouse in the division – Charlton Athletic:
“Already I’ve
enquired about one particular player and I know that Charlton are willing to
pay a fortune for him, wages wise, so they are obviously having a go and will
maybe sign two or three on big money”
Welcome to our world, Neil!
Regardless, our man remains unrepentant, continuing:
“But from my point
of view, I won’t be worrying about any of them if we get our targets really.”
Okay, so how do we break this to him?...
Wednesday 16th May
Simon Lenighan becomes the second academy prospect to
sign a professional contract at the club; he follows Sam Byram who put pen to
paper last week. The club ponder whether they should have Neil ‘They’ll do it
for me’ Redfearn sit in on all contract negotiations.
After collective sighs of exasperation and mass head
scratching, the reason for Ross McCormack’s exclusion from another Scotland
squad is revealed as Peter Lorimer confides to the YEP that he bumped into
Craig Levein in Perth a few weeks back and badgered him about selecting the 19
goal striker.
It must’ve come as a blow to the one-time Scottish hero
that his words carried so little gravitas; one can only assume that the
Scotland manager is familiar with Lorimer’s Friday newspaper column and having
noted his assertions that Leeds United possessed a squad capable of gaining
promotion this season, was persuaded that maybe Lasher is not the most
sound judge of talent.
 |
| Fancy a wage cut and trips to Peterborough and Barnsley? |
It is also revealed in the YEP that Neil Warnock is set
to renew his interest in Clint Hill – Leeds chasing a proven, solid Premier
League defenders… oh Neil, when will you learn?
The big story of the day though was undoubtedly to be
found on the timelines of twitter where the fall-out of Andros Townsend’s brief
spell at Elland Road continues to rumble on. After an evening of abuse from a
section of #TwitterWhites, the Premier Inn partial, cocksure Cockney of the
colossal cranium finally snapped, posting the following eloquent riposte:
Right I’ve had
enough of bullying inbreds for one day! Ill leave you lot to watch your dvd’s
of the glory days and sh*g ur sisters!
It hardly represented the most intelligent and calculated
move on his part; his remarks being re-tweeted to all corners of the Earth and
being responded to in kind by the LUFC fanbase, almost all of whom were quick
to point out the irony of a man with such a gargantuan forehead making such allegations.
 |
| And that's coming from a Yeovil/Scum fan - ya gets me?!? |
Fortunately the lower leagues’ answer to The Littlest
Hobo was able to call on his fanbase to counter the abuse, re-tweeting the
supportive words of Mitchell Clarke who similarly mocked Leeds for not being a
being a big club – one look at his profile page reveals Mitchell to be a Yeovil
AND Scum supporter… oh the irony!
 |
| The pressures of coming from a successful famiily... |
In defence of Andros, it’s imperative that LUFC supporters
take a moment to realise his predicament; the pressure to succeed must be
almost unbearable for a young guy who comes from such a successful family.
Thursday 17th May
‘Androsgate’ rumbles on as the holder of football’s most
loaded Nectar card takes it upon himself to taunt Whites supporters with his
modest career highlights; regaling the hordes with astonishing episodes of brilliance from his times at
Millwall and Ipswich.
 |
| Memoirs of a lower league legend. |
Eventually, it would appear that someone ‘had a word’ and
the original ‘inbreds’ tweet is deleted and a humbling apology posted in its
place. We can only hope the reprieve from the idiocy is a temporary one.
 |
| Humble pie? One slice of two? |
Also swiftly withdrawn is a story from the Yorkshire
Post, claiming that Leeds are likely to be interested in bringing Michael Owen
to Elland Road in a £50k per week deal. The untold damage to that particular
journo’s credibility must be almost incalculable.
Meanwhile the YEP, a day after reporting that QPR will be
looking to offload Clint Hill, now reveal that Rangers will look to head off
interest in him by offering their defender a new deal – take it from us
Neil, don’t waste any more time even trying to kid yourself on this one!
A fortnight after the hysteria that followed the
revelation about Adam Clayton’s transfer listing, the footballing world is
still obviously struggling to grasp his ‘God-like’ status as Burnley stand alone as the
one club to declare a firm interest. Maybe Barcelona and Madrid don’t do their
transfer business in May either?
Friday 18th May
“The positive thing
about Neil is that he’s got a clear vision for next season. He’s also got a
level of enthusiasm which I think potential signings will warm to easily. It’s
not to say that players are going to come simply on that basis, but I think it’s
a massive advantage to have someone like Neil in place – a proven coach with a
track record of winning promotion. That’s what players will be looking for when
they weigh up their options”
 |
| Ross illustrates the gap between his contact offer and his agent's expectations... |
More prophetic words from Peter Lorimer on the day the club fail
to convince another player already at
the club to sign a deal. Today it’s Ross McCormack’s turn to get on the gravy
train out of Elland Road, destination: Prospectsville. Expect the usual process
of blame and aspersions of greed levelled against the player, his agent,
ex-directors, the disabled and the Chinese to follow.
Warnock attempted to sound philosophical, stating:
“That’s the nature
of football and it’s their prerogative. It’s a big concern because you want to
keep your batter players”
You’re slowly catching on, aren’t you Neil?
Saturday 19th May
The YEP reveal that the club are in danger or missing out
on Joel Ward, believed to be one of the two players that Warnock wanted signing
by the end of the week (you were warned, Neil). Several sources reveal that the issue is not
with Ward who favours a move to Leeds, rather with the club who have been “slow
to finance a fee of £400,000”… roll up, roll up! Get your membership
applications in NOW!!
Memberships are obviously essential for supporters
wanting to secure a seat at next season’s play-off final, but this season,
having inexplicably failed to make it to Wembley, Leeds supporters have to
content themselves with watching the Hammers triumph; it’s an ‘against all
odds’ victory as a club that has held on to its key players and complemented
the squad with big money signings has defied all logic to succeed. Puzzled fans
are even denied the satisfaction of having Geoff Shreeves on hand to ask David
Gold: “Well you may have gone up David, but you do realise that you haven’t got a
pavilion?”
West Ham’s victory at Wembley not only denies Blackpool
chairman, Karl Oyston, the opportunity to reward himself with another new
helicopter, but also necessitates that he immediately starts preparation to
deal with next visit of Leeds. Rumours of a military presence at Bloomfield
Road draw no comment, though it’s understood that plans to host the game on
Christmas Day morning on an oil rig in the Irish Sea have been vetoed by the
Football League.
 |
| A success built 'brick by brick'... give or take £1bn. |
Later, the sixth best side in England, rightfully claim
the title of European Champions after surviving 120 minute battering from a
Bayern side that incredibly boasted a frontline that would benefit from the
addition of Billy Paynter and Mikael Forssell.
After a gripping penalty shoot-out finale that would be
enough to give more frail, Chelsea fanatics heart failure, Leeds fans scour
news websites and radio stations for any breaking obituaries, emanating from the Monaco region. With no
revelations forthcoming, it slowly dawns that Bates’ excitement at Chelsea’s
triumph will only be increased ten-fold by the realisation that their new
‘Champions of Europe’ status is all the excuse he needs to make the rumoured
pre-season friendly, Category ‘A’.
Expect sickeningly sycophantic programme notes, unfounded
claims about his own role in the success story, another pending court case for
libelling Ambramovich and a on-pitch guard of honour… roll on August!
Sunday 20th May
Four days have passed and not a single story has been
published on the official site that’s directly related to the football side of
the club. Hey, not to worry though; if you ever had aspirations of treating
your dad on Fathers’ Day with a trip in a hired Porsche (covered by an
Enterprise Insurance policy) to Flamingoland followed by an evening meal at the
Nicky Chapman Suite then dream no longer; it’s time to fill your boots!
 |
| The destination of choice for dads everywhere. |
Still no news from Monaco…
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