Sunday 6th May
The club reveal more details about the proposed casino
development at Elland Road; true to form, the attractive and exciting looking
architect’s impressions of the new West Stand redevelopment that could
previously be found online have now been replaced by something a little more
‘cheap’ looking.
The casino development |
An excited Shaun Harvey enthuses about the importance of the
scheme, talking of how it will complement the other magnificent facilities that
have so enriched the parish of Beeston, informing us that a casino would help
“increase revenue streams on non-matchdays”… the notion of buying players to
increase revenue streams on actual matchdays still however appears to be a
concept beyond Shaun’s comprehension.
Come and see what you could've won... |
Monday 7th May
All remains quiet as the supporters await the promised
flurry of transfer activity, but anyone who doubted Bates’ commitment in
ensuring the Leeds United would quickly re-assume a high profile in the Premier
League under his stewardship are made to eat their words.
Leeds fans here, Leeds fans there... |
Monday night 9.55pm and the club finally find themselves
sharing the ‘Monday Night Football‘ spotlight on Sky Sports as Mr We Beat The
Scum 1-0 and son take it upon themselves to try and convince the Ewood Park
regulars that things could be worse.
Tuesday 8th May
“Keep listening to
Yorkshire Radio and looking at the official site if you want to hear all the
Leeds United news first!”
Ken Bates’ words are proved right again as Sheffield
Wednesday are revealed as one of the Whites’ opponents for the 2012/13,
literally within days of their promotion.
Former White, Vince Hilaire moves to assure fans that they
have a fine new player on their hands in Jason Pearce, stating that Pearce “loves
defending, loves heading the ball, loves getting his blocks in, and loves
tackling”. Such words are like music to the ears of supporters, but are
reported to have caused all manner of confusion for Paul Connolly.
Same bloodline? |
News of a very concerning development emerges from Norway, where
a rather troubling resemblance is revealed between one power crazy maniac with
a fetish for courtrooms and our own chairman, back when he was at a similar
age…
Wednesday 9th May
The centrepiece no doubt of every week during the close and
pre-season season arrives in the form of Bates’ address to the unenlightened and
unwashed. Today’s ‘interview’ is an especially insightful episode that raises
all manner of talking points.
As the chairman speaks out on the contract situation at
Elland Road, he reveals that Snoddy is close to signing a new deal with the
club, with only a couple of “little obstacles” that need tackling – rumours
suggest them to be his salary and a show of ambition in the transfer market.
A potential investor's wet dream |
The big story that breaks regards a potential £20m
investment that the club missed out on from a very keen Leeds United supporter
and Saudi-based business man. According to Ken, very good progress had been made and
the club invited the ‘investor’ over for the Middlesbrough game to meet Shaun
Harvey, in an attempt to clinch a deal; having been inevitably impressed the
largest conferencing facilities between Manchester and Newcastle, and then veritably
wet himself at the magnificent new corporate plans in the East Stand, the man
in question was said to be been taken aback a little by the sight of a few
hundred fans chanting outside the West Stand… asking for new investment.
Apparently, after a period of reflection, the investor
contacted Bates to inform him that he wouldn’t be investing in the club as he
couldn’t be seen to be “associating with such undesirables and morons” – being
that the investor resides in Saudi Arabia; a place where public executions by
stoning and beheading are commonplace, with floggings and amputations, regular
punishments for more minor offences, it does seem appear almost inconceivable that
a “few kids” chanting about things “they don’t know anything about”, could’ve
unnerved the man in question.
Shaun Harvey and that day’s starting XI were however, unavailable
for comment.
Elsewhere, there’s a reminder that as bad as things have got
at Leeds, we do have at least a few shreds of dignity to hold on to as officials
at Sheffield Wednesday, rather than think “Well, thank f**k that’s over!” and
pretend it never happened, opt to take part in a civic reception to celebrate finishing
up as the second best team in League One…they even receive a trophy.
Reassuringly, the crowd muster a few verses of “We all hate
Leeds scum”.
Thursday 10th May
Neil Warnock reveals that the club are in talks with Tom
Lees to give him an enhanced contract that reflects his progress at the club –
that should be enough to put a smile on Tom’s face...
The Turner twins are also celebrating being offered new
deals, though it’s not clear whether Bates’ thought that one contract covered
them both for the next 12 months.
Leeds’ first pre-season friendly is revealed; the Whites are
to travel to Burton Albion on Tuesday 7th August for a game.
Remember, to get all the Leeds United news first, listen to Yorkshire Radio and
check the official site… or in this case, read the Burton Mail.
Our turn to fleece the bankrupt |
Neil Warnock reveals that he expects to have answers
regarding contract offers from all those players involved, no later than the
first week of June, thus allowing the fans a full 10 week official mourning
period before the big kick-off. Meanwhile, Joel Ward becomes the latest Pompey
player to be tenuously linked, bigged up and swiftly dismissed on WACCOE.
Friday 11th May
Following a fortnight of feverish online speculation, the
club finally confirm details of the pre-season tour in Cornwall. It appears that
Neil Warnock is very comfortable with the schedule having chosen an identical
itinerary in the build-up to QPR’s title winning season… whether Tavistock’s
officials will feel as comfortable attempting to accommodate an influx of Leeds
supporters in a stadium that holds 2000 is another matter entirely.
Fortress Bodmin |
Mercifully, the second fixture, seemingly hosted on a 5000
capacity mound in Bodmin looks to be far less of a potential logistical
nightmare. Ground capacity issues are unlikely to be an issue at Plainmoor either,
where the team complete their mini-tour with a match against Torquay; however,
supporters are left pondering what
degree of meticulous planning was employed to posit thousands of pissed up
Leeds fans in a popular south coast holiday resort, on a Friday night, in high
season.
As always, the official site is right on the ball, providing
detailed dossiers on our opponents and the venues. It is revealed that Torquay
narrowly missed out on the play-offs LAST season having finished 7th
(they were in fact beaten finalists). This season’s campaign doesn’t even merit
a mention.
As part of their on-going drive to increase commercial
revenues, the club publicise the many ways in which businesses can advertise
their brands at Elland Road. The opening gambit of the promotional statement
reads:
Leeds United fans come
from all walks of life. Business leaders, chief executives, directors, office
workers, factory workers, OAPs, juniors and families. The diverse nature of our
fanbase provides great advertising opportunities for all brands and businesses.
Essentially the club provides a list of supporter groups,
carefully ordered into a hierarchy of importance and desirability - needless to
say, the unemployed, single mums and the Chinese don’t even merit a mention.
Saturday 12th May
On a quiet day, the YEP offer the most noteworthy
contribution of the day, by posting a link to a Tom Lees interview where he
discusses his ‘away day’ experiences and it can be found here.
Never struggle to read Tom's state of mind again! |
In an electrifying exchange, our chirpy centre back recalls no end of crazy anecdotes in
his typical excitable, animated and humorous manner. For those less able to
discern Tom’s subtle range of facial expressions, the guide provided above
should help enhance your enjoyment of the video.
Sunday 13th May
Absolutely nothing of note happened
at Elland Road today.
Destined to be recycled indefinitely... |
However, it would be remiss of me
not to acknowledge the end of the Premier League season…especially when it
gives me another chance to recycle this picture.
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