As per usual, despite the conjecture, little in the way of
new, ground breaking information has emerged from the depths of that ever
growing malaise of intelligent second guessing, tantalising hints from more
learned individuals and the remaining 99% of bollocks contained with. That
said, as always, there are highlights to be had if you delve deeply enough;
this week’s being a three-page long diversion discussing the emotional impact
of dog’s death…
 |
| Admit it, we've all had the same dream... |
Anyway, back to the football, as the more I think about
TOMA, the more I doubt myself and the more I torture my mind with visions that
Bates has come up with yet another elaborate ruse to keep hold of the seat of
power in LS11…
Monday 16th July
Adam Drury eases the PR burden shouldered by Jason Pearce
and Tom Lees by trotting out a few token clichés about the toughness of
pre-season training, remarkably finding that there’s a ‘feelgood factor’ around
Thorp Arch where the “great set of lads” he’s getting to know are “absolutely
buzzing” about the new season in prospect – delivered like a true pro Adam,
delivered like a true pro…
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| Plainmoor: Temporary home to 2000 Leeds fans...and not a single one more! |
While uncertainty continues to surround the club, it’s
reassuring to know that the official site is trying its upmost to relieve the
tension with the odd humorous story; today they report an update regarding the
Torquay game, stating that new arrangements have been put in place for visiting
supporters. The changes have been made as a result of the decision to release 500 extra
tickets to Leeds fans after the original allocation of 1500 tickets sold out “incredibly
quickly”.
The piece starts…
“Torquay are expecting over 2000 Leeds fans for the
pre-season game at Plainmoor on Friday, July 27th and ticketing
arrangements have been adjusted to meet the requirements of both Torquay and
Leeds supporters”
Yes, I think we can all rest assured that no Leeds
supporters exist who will have bought tickets in the Torquay end, or will turn
up on the evening trying to do so… The fools, the naïve fools!
Tuesday 17th July
The club confirm the departure of Andy Lonergan to Bolton
Wanderers. Lonners hopes to challenge for the number 1 shirt at the Reebok
Stadium and make it his own; we can only hope that for the sake of our
promotion prospects, he succeeds. Neil Warnock confirms that the move leaves
Paul Rachubka as the only experienced back-up at the club…and is even quicker
to confirm that he’ll be looking to get in alternative experienced back-up.
Huddersfield Town up the ante in the race for Lee Peltier by
offering Leicester a deal thought to be potentially worth £650,000, the sort of
fee unheard of in these parts since the days that Kevin Nicholls roamed the
land.
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| With a face like that he might just fit in at Carrow Road... |
A far bigger story concerns a fresh bid from Norwich City to
lure Robert Snodgrass to Carrow Road; the offer is quickly dismissed but a
second offer would seem inevitable. The biggest question concerns whether Paul
Lambert will also enter the race, now he’s at Aston Villa; the prospect of a
two-way battle is an intriguing one. It has all the hallmarks of a child
custody case, rather like ‘Kramer vs Kramer’, for those familiar with the 80s
Oscar winning film. On one side, there’s the motherly Paul Lambert, he’s always
been there for his beloved Leeds players, always keeping an eye on them and
making them feel special, and now he wants to be the sole guardian of little
Snoddy. On the other side stands Chris Hughton, the stereotypical absent
father, who suddenly, after spending his days relentlessly pursuing career
progression, has devoted a bit of time to ‘Wee Bob’ (in my mind, he’s given him a pet name)
and found himself smitten; he’s even taught him to make what is just the best French toast…and
now he can’t face life without him either.
In the film, the mother wins, but then realises in the end,
that the child’s home is now with his dad – make of that, what you will…
Wednesday 18th July
The club proudly announce that UAP TradeLocks are to be the
new sponsors of the South Stand. Amidst all the corporate spiel in the official
announcement, it is revealed that:
“UAP TradeLocks is a UK based company with an unsurpassable
reputation for product quality and innovation. The company prides itself on providing
quality products at quality prices”
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| Doesn't quite have the same cache as The Lurpak Stand! |
Credit to Shaun Harvey for sealing the deal – I’ve no idea
where he began to find any common ground during negotiations.
Another quality arrival at Elland Road promises to be
Rodolph Austin. In the YEP, ex-United star and team mate of Rodolph, Eirik
Bakke adds to the hype, suggesting:
“He will suit Leeds perfectly. Leeds fans want players who
give their all every match and he does that. He’s never injured and he is a
very good player… As a player, he has pace and is a really strong tackler. He
does a lot of the DIRTY work…”
Ok, stop right there Eirik! You had me at ‘dirty’ Eirik, you
had me at ‘dirty’…
Thursday 19th July
The YEP report that SK Brann expect to resolve the future of
future Leeds cult hero, footballer of the year and statue commemorated superman,
Rodolph Austin to be resolved by the weekend. Monday week is tentatively
pencilled in for a Bank Holiday in Beeston.
 |
| En route to pick up his Nobel Prize... |
Back in TOMA territory, a potentially significant
development is uncovered on WACCOE as Leeds United register a new company,
Leeds United Vision. On further investigation it is found that just prior to
the formation of Leeds United Vision, Leeds United TV was also registered with
Company House. The implications of the move are unclear, though many speculate
that the moves have made to smooth over the final stages of the acquisition
process, potentially destroying my dreams that the Chuckle Brothers were
going to take over the running of LUTV.
Friday 20th July
The latest “nailed on” takeover announcement passes with no
more than a collective sigh and shrug of the shoulders, but thankfully there
are numerous other titbits to feed from today. The big news is that Aidy White
has had an about turn and will be signing a new 3 year deal at the club… with an
improved offer for Snodgrass on the table from Norwich, the more cynical Leeds
fans half expect stories of a late withdrawal from tonight’s game at Throstle
Nest with a rather convenient ‘strain’ injury to follow – I don’t know what’s up
with us!
A Snodgrass deprived Leeds team triumph 5-2 in a game of two
teams; the first XI storming to a 3-0 half-time lead, the youth team/rejects XI
sharing 4 goals in the second period. A slightly more detailed account can be
found here.
Good news too for those who insist on having a replica shirt
that’s a complete reproduction of the first team kit as a new batch of shirts
arrive in the club shop, adorned with our secondary sponsor’s name. Any Leeds
fans who’ve been desperate to have the word ‘iLuv’ plastered over your bottoms –
time to fill your boots… just be careful that’s the only thing you have filled.
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| Serving the cheapest beer in town from noon - be prepared! |
More details are also made available about Monday’s friendly
with Tavistock. The clubhouse will be open from midday and will be selling
drinks and pasties from then; confounding lazy stereotypes about locals being
insular, burgers, hotdogs and chips will also be available from 2pm. The
revelation that the clubhouse offers pool, darts and a TV sets the venue some
way above Billy’s Bar, whilst the statement that it sells the cheapest beer in
town can only be asking for trouble.
Saturday 21st July
Aidy White confirms his future is with Leeds by signing a
new 3 year contract. Neil Warnock reveals that in the end, the ‘pull’ of Leeds
United was the decisive factor in Aidy’s decision; whether the ‘push’ of Derby
County played some role in making his mind up in another matter entirely.
 |
| Don't pass the Duchy... |
Back to the imminent…oh bollocks, sorry, upcoming tour of
Cornwall, and the club confirm that the open day for Leeds fans to come and
watch a training session will take place on the Tuesday. The venue is question
is Duchy College, Stoke Climsland. It is highly recommended that supporters
program the address into their sat navs, otherwise they may drive along, blissfully
unaware as they pass the Duchy on the left hand side – seriously, what other
blog can offer you Musical Youth based puns?!
Sunday 22nd July
I have no idea if anything of significance has happened
today as I’m writing this entry from the distant past (Saturday evening, with
the aid of wine); it’s a necessary act as by the time I tweet the link to this
I’ll be on route to Bodmin. If you catch this mid-morning, chances are I might
be in the Waitrose at Hopwood Park Services, hoping to track down another bag
of those beef and horseradish flavour savoury mix, party snack type thingies,
if it’s around lunchtime then maybe I’ll be at the Michael Wood Services KFC…anyway,
you get the general idea!
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| Recommended! |
With that in mind, I should warn you that next week’s review
takes a mildly radical departure towards the tried and trusted ‘tour diary’ format.
I can only promise that superfluous junk food references will be kept to an
absolute minimum!
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